One mans bane is a snails paradise

It seemed to the snails that the humans were there to entertain them and did everything from that point of view.

The wizened old snails would tell stories of how the humans rearranged the plants and the flowers in an organized manner for the snails to enjoy; How they made the bright, orange, hot thing that would sparkle and crackle and leave the surrounding earth pleasantly hot but of all the things that humans did the grandest thing ever was grunge drone music.

The elders considered it to be a little violent but the youngsters were quite crazy about it. The music was made by these towering musical instruments which were operated by humans, they made a constant rumbling noise and as the music played, giant arms would violently hit the ground and remove a chunk of earth. This sort of music was referred to as earth banging. At times the musical instruments would bang against the rock and break chunks of them, it of course was the famous Rock music.

Lepto, the young restless snail paced around in the bushes, listening to grunge drone all day long. He wanted to make a name for himself amongst the snails. And he was particularly impressed with the developmental work that Magius had undertaken at the bottom end of the hill, next to the sewer.

The sewer was of great interest to Lepto and his friend Redding. Both would be awake at the crack of dawn and used to hop away to the lower parts of the hill to the Triplex. This area was the equivalent of going to a circus carnival. Magius had called this area the Triplex and had prospered to such a great extent that he stayed in the top most penthouse of the hill, just below the human colony, complete with its own swimming pool puddle.

Once Lepto and Redding had clambered on top of Magius penthouse wall to witness what must have been the grandest party ever with beautiful female snails frolicking around in the swimming puddle with Magius and his chosen guests. Little Lepto thought to himself that when he grew up he would make the biggest Triplex ever and be even richer than Magius.

The Triplex as the name suggests offered three types of entertainment options, which one could indulge in at all points of time. The Triplex boasted of a racing track, where human vehicles zoomed past. In reality the vehicles were literally moving at snails pace but the snails registered it as quite the contrary since their eyes can see just about as fast as their feet can take them. Quite a magnificent spectacle, the cars did make for the snails. The track was the largest track in the snail world, all of 50 meters long.

Another human activity that the snails really enjoyed took place at the bottom of the hill just next to the racing track. Here humans would come and squat and stay for a little while and when they stood up they left behind strange shapes of a gooey mixture. At times the dropping of the mixture was preceded by strange trumpeting sounds. The snails quite enjoyed watching this ritual, they just could not get enough of it. The round part of the human anatomy, the dropping of the mixture and the sounds, Lepto could watch it all day long.

Combined with these two human activities, Magius the magnificent had started a huge multi-cuisine restaurant. In the upper tier (in the lower reaches of the hill but just above the sewer), one could feast on a variety of fungus and insects, in the upper sewer section a snail could get flies of a myriad variety and in the sewer section, which was open in the morning and then in the evening only, one could get fresh human gooey droppings, this Magius had branded as Sushi and this was extremely popular with the fashionable snails.

What a grand experience this was for the snails. Delicacies to savor, fast paced entertainment, human clowns performing, along with the strains of grunge drone. Magnificent, thought Lepto and said to himself, “Magius, you truly are a genius”.

So the next time, you are stuck in traffic just after Thakur Complex and are trying not to look at all those defecating by the side of the road, leaving behind turds of all shapes and sizes, think of Lepto and his wide eyed amazement and Magius, the doyen of snail enterprise and rest assured that you moving at snails pace is all for a good cause.