Saturday, October 28, 2006
Signs
Not sure if I should be reassured or just disappointed
Sometimes you have to go a long way ahead to be able to turn back
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Adventure
Do you remember the time when the mind took exponential leaps?
What it felt like to be excited when you encountered something new.
When what is now ordinary was in fact a phenomenon with unrestricted and endless possibilities.
Engulfed by the feeling you did not think why and just being there and running down the stairs to climb through a small hole in the wall was reason enough.
What it felt like to be excited when you encountered something new.
When what is now ordinary was in fact a phenomenon with unrestricted and endless possibilities.
Engulfed by the feeling you did not think why and just being there and running down the stairs to climb through a small hole in the wall was reason enough.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
A womans heart
Her heart broke to think of all that could have been. But Madhavi had destroyed her completely. All that mattered to her in life had been snatched away in one cruel week. 'What do I have left?' she thought bitterly, as the tears wet her carefully manicured fingers. But she soon knew there was something more. There was one thing to be done. It shocked her that she was even thinking of doing such a thing. 'I really can't do this,' she told herself. But she knew it was the only way... She had to do it, however painful it was.
It had been two months since Anand had gotten her from her mother’s house. Her poor mother had stood behind the door and mournfully looked at her first born leave the house.
Her new home was comfortable and Anand loved her no end. He pampered her no end with toys and food that she really enjoyed but she sensed Madhavi’s reluctance on the very first day and the week that followed went from bad to worse as she could sense Madhavi’s reluctance all the time. Whenever Madhavi saw her she looked away or looked at her with an expression that was a combination of disdain and pity at the same time.
“Why did you have to get her? I told you not to. I am just not comfortable with her around”. Madhavi said.
“How can you not like her? Look at her beautiful doe eyes. She is so helpless and innocent. Just give her some time and give yourself some time and I am sure you will come around to liking her”. Anand was banking on the belief that after all Madhavi like all women had a woman’s heart and that she would in a little time come around to liking the new addition in their family.
Madhavi lifted her up and looked at her face. She thought that she saw a degree of affection in her eyes but the moment was short lived as Madhavi put her down quickly walked away.
She so wanted Madhavi to like her. She got her the stuffed toy that Anand had given her to play with. Madhavi at first did not get it and threw the stuffed toy on the ground. She picked it up again and gave it to her. “I don’t want this”, said Madhavi.
“She’s only trying to tell you that she likes you and is giving you a gift”, said Anand.
“Oh, I did not get it”, replied Madhavi and smiled “but this is for you, you keep it”.
Just at that moment she felt the urge to throw up and she did. Whatever little points she had scored with Madhavi were quickly lost.
“Anand she has done it again, I am sick of her throwing up all over the place. After all you go to office and I have to clean up all her shit and puke”, Madhavi was really angry.
She got scared because of Madhavi’s shouting and promptly urinated a little on the carpet.
That did it for Madhavi. “Anand, you have to give her back immediately. I will not take this anymore. She has ruined the carpet”.
Wiping the pee off the carpet Anand said “She’s only 6 months old and will learn to control herself in a few days”.
Anand picked her up and made her smell the pee and took her to the garden outside and made her smell the grass and said “That’s where you are supposed to pee and crap my baby and don’t worry about mommy. She will soon start liking you. Afterall you are so adorable”.
Checkers looked at the nails of her paw that had recently been cut by the vet and thought to herself there was one thing to be done. It shocked her that she was even thinking of doing such a thing. 'I really can't do this,' she told herself. But she knew it was the only way... She had to do it, however painful it was. She would have to hold her pee and her crap till such time that she managed to get to the garden. However cute they might be, Dogs are not allowed to relieve themselves in their masters house.
It had been two months since Anand had gotten her from her mother’s house. Her poor mother had stood behind the door and mournfully looked at her first born leave the house.
Her new home was comfortable and Anand loved her no end. He pampered her no end with toys and food that she really enjoyed but she sensed Madhavi’s reluctance on the very first day and the week that followed went from bad to worse as she could sense Madhavi’s reluctance all the time. Whenever Madhavi saw her she looked away or looked at her with an expression that was a combination of disdain and pity at the same time.
“Why did you have to get her? I told you not to. I am just not comfortable with her around”. Madhavi said.
“How can you not like her? Look at her beautiful doe eyes. She is so helpless and innocent. Just give her some time and give yourself some time and I am sure you will come around to liking her”. Anand was banking on the belief that after all Madhavi like all women had a woman’s heart and that she would in a little time come around to liking the new addition in their family.
Madhavi lifted her up and looked at her face. She thought that she saw a degree of affection in her eyes but the moment was short lived as Madhavi put her down quickly walked away.
She so wanted Madhavi to like her. She got her the stuffed toy that Anand had given her to play with. Madhavi at first did not get it and threw the stuffed toy on the ground. She picked it up again and gave it to her. “I don’t want this”, said Madhavi.
“She’s only trying to tell you that she likes you and is giving you a gift”, said Anand.
“Oh, I did not get it”, replied Madhavi and smiled “but this is for you, you keep it”.
Just at that moment she felt the urge to throw up and she did. Whatever little points she had scored with Madhavi were quickly lost.
“Anand she has done it again, I am sick of her throwing up all over the place. After all you go to office and I have to clean up all her shit and puke”, Madhavi was really angry.
She got scared because of Madhavi’s shouting and promptly urinated a little on the carpet.
That did it for Madhavi. “Anand, you have to give her back immediately. I will not take this anymore. She has ruined the carpet”.
Wiping the pee off the carpet Anand said “She’s only 6 months old and will learn to control herself in a few days”.
Anand picked her up and made her smell the pee and took her to the garden outside and made her smell the grass and said “That’s where you are supposed to pee and crap my baby and don’t worry about mommy. She will soon start liking you. Afterall you are so adorable”.
Checkers looked at the nails of her paw that had recently been cut by the vet and thought to herself there was one thing to be done. It shocked her that she was even thinking of doing such a thing. 'I really can't do this,' she told herself. But she knew it was the only way... She had to do it, however painful it was. She would have to hold her pee and her crap till such time that she managed to get to the garden. However cute they might be, Dogs are not allowed to relieve themselves in their masters house.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Songs of a long gone past
I had only recently heard the song. It seemed a bit strange to me. It was melodious, and that’s all I could grant to it.
El Condor Pasa, I never paid much attention to understanding the meaning of the title. I failed to see any Spanish or Mexican connection in the song, as the title sounded Mexican, not that I was ever an expert on Mexico.
But with the arrogance of youth and being the offspring of very intelligent and academically qualified parents, those days I considered myself to be an expert on any and everything, albeit most of those who knew me then would completely disagree.
El meaning the, Condor as in a large vulture like bird. My understanding stopped there. ‘I’d rather be a sparrow, than a snail’, ‘I’d rather be a hammer than a nail’…now why would anyone want to be a sparrow or a hammer to start off with.
Anyway my ears perked up when I heard her say, “I love that song” and started singing it. One thing in common with her. Not that there was much. Music was perhaps the only place where I could hold my own. Even though I only had pretensions of understanding and appreciating good music at best. The truth was that I was just beginning to listen. But like quite a few 14 year olds, I talked more than I knew and pretended to understand more than I actually understood.
El Condor Pasa, I never paid much attention to understanding the meaning of the title. I failed to see any Spanish or Mexican connection in the song, as the title sounded Mexican, not that I was ever an expert on Mexico.
But with the arrogance of youth and being the offspring of very intelligent and academically qualified parents, those days I considered myself to be an expert on any and everything, albeit most of those who knew me then would completely disagree.
El meaning the, Condor as in a large vulture like bird. My understanding stopped there. ‘I’d rather be a sparrow, than a snail’, ‘I’d rather be a hammer than a nail’…now why would anyone want to be a sparrow or a hammer to start off with.
Anyway my ears perked up when I heard her say, “I love that song” and started singing it. One thing in common with her. Not that there was much. Music was perhaps the only place where I could hold my own. Even though I only had pretensions of understanding and appreciating good music at best. The truth was that I was just beginning to listen. But like quite a few 14 year olds, I talked more than I knew and pretended to understand more than I actually understood.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Easy Mice and Men
The meeting got over at 6 in the evening. Precisely 6 minutes before Iftar. I had virtually no chance of finding a taxi. I tried my luck by calling the taxi service, hoping to find a Hindu Mallu taxi driver but no luck.
Thought I'll be better off in my quest to find a taxi driven by a Hindu Mallu on the road. No luck. A Pathan stopped but his face told me the expected story when I told him that it was Sharjah I wanted to go to. He was apologetic but I told him that it wasn't a problem and that he should put his meals first.
The good thing about it being Iftar time was the fact that I could smoke in the open. I pulled out my packet of cigarettes only to find none in it. Funny things these cigarettes, how perfectly they wedge themselves in between my lips. An object with a purpose. Much unlike me. Fortunately Spinneys was just across the road.
I walked into the Macgrudy's Bookshop inside Spinney's and browsed around, hoping to find something that could keep me occupied. How I missed a good book. One that kept me occupied, also murmur to myself, "My thoughts exactly” or painted a new picture or gave me a road map just me gave joy....you know what I mean.
Like with the Taxi and the empty packet of cigarettes no luck here as well. I was aghast. A man who cannot find a book to read in even a modest bookshop (and this outlet was just a notch above modest) has nothing to look forward to. Random thoughts raced across my mind. None of them any good.
I bought a pack of cigarettes and on the way out fortunately found a cab driven by a Pakistani, who must have finished his meals.
The disturbing random thoughts still prevailed even when I got home. I thought I'll listen to some of my music. Some thing that I had not done in quite a while. I got the CD that Mukul had cut for me of all the songs that I had on the hard drive in Bombay. All my favourites. I skipped 145 songs and still couldn't find one that I wanted to listen to. One that gave me the 'joy' that I was seeking. I began to like a few but then realised after sometime that I was only pretending.
The songs just played and I kind of half listened to them. I picked up a book randomly from the bookshelf.
John Steinbeck's, Of Mice and Men. Parul had recently bought this along with a few other books. I had one copy in Bombay also but never got around to reading it. It was lent to me in Mudra by Rhitwik Bhattathiri, a Lab scientist turned client servicing boy from Cochin. We shared a Taxi at times. We spoke mostly about music and books and he spoke a lot about this book and then one day he got it for me. I promised to promptly return the book to him after reading it. Needless to say, the book was lying unread when I packed up my bags to come to this part of the world. At that time I even made a mental note of couriering the book to him to his new office but just didn't get around to doing it.
I got past the first page and the second. Hope stirred. The continuously approaching guitar riffs in the background were music to my years. Song 188 and Mike Patton cried out, 'I'm easy like a Sunday morning'.
I look forward to the week.
Thought I'll be better off in my quest to find a taxi driven by a Hindu Mallu on the road. No luck. A Pathan stopped but his face told me the expected story when I told him that it was Sharjah I wanted to go to. He was apologetic but I told him that it wasn't a problem and that he should put his meals first.
The good thing about it being Iftar time was the fact that I could smoke in the open. I pulled out my packet of cigarettes only to find none in it. Funny things these cigarettes, how perfectly they wedge themselves in between my lips. An object with a purpose. Much unlike me. Fortunately Spinneys was just across the road.
I walked into the Macgrudy's Bookshop inside Spinney's and browsed around, hoping to find something that could keep me occupied. How I missed a good book. One that kept me occupied, also murmur to myself, "My thoughts exactly” or painted a new picture or gave me a road map just me gave joy....you know what I mean.
Like with the Taxi and the empty packet of cigarettes no luck here as well. I was aghast. A man who cannot find a book to read in even a modest bookshop (and this outlet was just a notch above modest) has nothing to look forward to. Random thoughts raced across my mind. None of them any good.
I bought a pack of cigarettes and on the way out fortunately found a cab driven by a Pakistani, who must have finished his meals.
The disturbing random thoughts still prevailed even when I got home. I thought I'll listen to some of my music. Some thing that I had not done in quite a while. I got the CD that Mukul had cut for me of all the songs that I had on the hard drive in Bombay. All my favourites. I skipped 145 songs and still couldn't find one that I wanted to listen to. One that gave me the 'joy' that I was seeking. I began to like a few but then realised after sometime that I was only pretending.
The songs just played and I kind of half listened to them. I picked up a book randomly from the bookshelf.
John Steinbeck's, Of Mice and Men. Parul had recently bought this along with a few other books. I had one copy in Bombay also but never got around to reading it. It was lent to me in Mudra by Rhitwik Bhattathiri, a Lab scientist turned client servicing boy from Cochin. We shared a Taxi at times. We spoke mostly about music and books and he spoke a lot about this book and then one day he got it for me. I promised to promptly return the book to him after reading it. Needless to say, the book was lying unread when I packed up my bags to come to this part of the world. At that time I even made a mental note of couriering the book to him to his new office but just didn't get around to doing it.
I got past the first page and the second. Hope stirred. The continuously approaching guitar riffs in the background were music to my years. Song 188 and Mike Patton cried out, 'I'm easy like a Sunday morning'.
I look forward to the week.
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