Chasing tiger dreams

Nitin, Neeraj, Shiv and I used to run off to Sariska whenever we could. To not incur costs we would live in the dorm which was furnace like hot, with no water in the loo, once even pitched a tent in the Tiger Den garden only to be driven out by mosquitoes, ate only daal and chapatis and once even fought with the waiter over the number of chapatis that we had eaten just to save precious few bucks.
Young naturalists chasing a dream of catching a glimpse of the elusive tiger. Led by Pratap Singh (the drunken old forest guide) and the Jeep driver (who was most happy with the bakshish of a bottle of Rum) we spent quite a few hours in the Sariska forest. The closest we came to a sighting was coming across a pugmark left by a tiger a few hours before, once a carcass of a Sambar left behind by a tiger and a few false alarms.
We often heard stories of Tiger poaching and speculated that there were no tigers in Sariska. But we kept on coming back. The first time we went there was when we were in Class IX and the last time was when all of us had started working. Sariska would always come up in all our conversations which have become fewer as years and distances have increased. We would recount our Sariska adventures and talk about going back one day.
And now it’s official. There are no tigers in Sariska. A few forest officers fired over incorrect tiger census reports.
I feel disappointed and cheated. The dream has come to an end.

Maximilian - The Sandilian

Sandilians are a bit like Humans. What defines Sandilians is their pursuit of pleasure stemming from sloth. To be true to their innate nature of not wanting to do anything, the Sandilians are also known to be conniving and treacherous. Those of you who work for parties other than themselves would be able to identify with this. Those who do not do anything will agree with the sloth part. Though they also look like humans with a slightly larger head what completely differentiates them is the fact that they reproduce through fission and have no need to piss or shit. Thereby no need for any genetelia or rectum.

What is also characteristic of them is their extremely short memory and attention span. Given a choice, all Sandilians would prefer to sit by a brook with their basket of assorted goodies and spend the entire day pontificating by themselves about what makes an apple fall and other questions like that. All the contemplation did not amount to much as the deductions all but lasted for a few minutes.

Since everyone kept on forgetting everything in a span of minutes there was no collective pool of knowledge. None but one! The one conclusively proven observation that all Sandilians were privy to was 'Time heals all wounds'.

All this contemplation and rapid forgetting combined with the frustration caused by not being able to be slothful all the time lead to a lot of pent up anger in Sandilians as a race. In the blink of an eye, a Sandilian can turn violent. Of course, if no one was around or the situation provided no possible vent for the violence, it would go away in 10 minutes at the most. If a vent for the anger was available then a Sandilian could stay focused on violence for up to 14 Minutes. In a crowded marketplace this could be disastrous.

Precisely for this reason, Sandilian employers had to lock up their employees inside a cubicle. All communication happened over intercom and there was a special function in all companies, that of Janitorial Supervisors. This was the most prized of all white collar jobs and also the one that called for serious skill. It was not easy to lock and open doors 2000 times a day at rapid pace. Only those who topped throughout in their education were eligible for the Janitorial Services Commission exams. Those selected had to undergo an intensive 20 year training program. Apart from opening and locking doors, the elite JS candidates had to learn a special breathing technique that could help them control anger for up to 25 minutes and post that not act their violent urge for another 15 minutes. After 40 minutes in all probability they would forget about their anger. The chief of the JS i.e. CJS occupied the 1500th floor of the JS Plaza and his responsibility was to keep on improving on his twin skills i.e. opening and closing door rapidly and controlling anger. Just for this purpose the 1500th floor was in fact a very complex maze with nearly 15,000 doors. The maze had been specially designed by a master designer and what made it even more complex was the fact that the master designer conceptualised and executed his design under the influence of Smilia - a popular psychotropic substance. In a race condemned to short memory psychotropic substances could lead to very high creativity, often at times the expression of which could not be fully comprehended. Any of you who happen to be in any creative profession would realise the importance of achieving such a status. The maze was one such masterpiece. The final one of the Master Designer whose is unable to share his designs with Sandilians any more for he, if not dead, is lost in his own maze. Fortunately for the Master Designer he had carried with him enough Smilia to last him for 10 years.

Maximilian was one such elite JS. He was smarter than most and on the fast track to the top floor of the 1500th floor JS Plaza.